


Satisfy This Hungriness

by monkiainen



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Escape, Implied/Referenced Incest, Loki Angst, Loki Feels, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-05
Updated: 2016-09-05
Packaged: 2018-08-13 06:08:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7965505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monkiainen/pseuds/monkiainen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki does not understand why Thor doesn't love him the way he loves Thor. Maybe it's time to leave it all behind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Satisfy This Hungriness

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CatalenaMara](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatalenaMara/gifts).



Why wouldn't Thor love him?

Loki couldn't understand. He had done everything he could think of to make Thor love him, but yet his brother had chosen a mere mortal woman over him. What was so special about Jane Foster? She was…. just a human. A very smart human, but human nevertheless, and she would perish so soon. Even Thor couldn't be that foolish not to realise that he would outlive Jane for centuries.

Loki had tried to be such a good brother; he had sparred with his brother, despite how much he had despised it. He had learned more battle magic just to be able to stand on his brother's side in the battle, and yet everyone had belittled him when he hadn't chosen the more traditional weapons of Aesir. No. Not anymore. If Thor couldn't see that Loki had always loved him, then he didn't deserve Loki's love. From now on Loki would only think of himself.

But it wasn't easy, no. Loki would always think of Thor, no matter what. Like the time when Thor had decided it was a good idea to go to Jotunheim alone and revenge the Frost Giants for messing around with his coronation. Loki had tried to talk Thor out of it, but had his brother ever listened to him? Of course not. He wouldn't even listen to Hogun, his friend. So Loki had to go to Jotunheim with Thor just to make sure his idiotic brother wouldn't get himself killed. When one thinks themselves invincible, they make the most foolish mistakes – and Thor wasn't an exception to the rule.

And of course Thor had to start a fight at Jotunheim, even if Loki told him they were badly outnumbered and they should really, really leave. And what was Thor's reaction? He had the nerve to be _pissed off_ at Loki, who had tried to protect him. All because his pride and ego were bigger than his common sense. 

Loki had fought alongside his brother as always, using his magic to their advantage whenever he could. But then something unthinkable happened. When a frost giant touched his hand, Loki was shocked to discover that it transformed to the same blue colouring than of the frost giants. No…. Loki begged Thor that they should leave, and fast, before someone would die, but Thor wanted to keep on fighting. Of course. In Thor's eyes leaving would have been a sign of cowardice instead of a wise strategy, even if staying would mean his death. What a fool he had been.

Loki thought that Allfather would be able to talk sense to his beloved brother, but no. Thor refused to listen. Loki's heart broke in little pieces when he realised he might never see his brother again. Why Thor wouldn't listen to him, why? 

Despite everything Loki had done for Thor, Warriors 3 and Sif still had the nerve to think that he was a traitor of some kind. Seriously? He had done everything out of love, because he had wanted that Thor would finally notice him. And yet they called Loki a traitor -- the one that wouldn't betray his brother, his one love for anything.

With those thoughts heavy in his mind, Loki refused to end Thor's banishment just because his _friends_ asked him to. Didn't they understand that Thor needed the banishment to see his errors and grow as a person? Of course they didn't. They never loved Thor like Loki did. But Loki, oh, he loved Thor so much that he even lied to him that Odin had died because of his foolishness. Harsh, yes, but that was exactly what Thor needed. And look at him now! Such a great man, on his way to become a king. And did Thor ever thank you Loki for what he had done for him? No. Instead he locked Loki up and threw away the key.

And still Loki loves him. Love really is blind.

"Hello brother."

Ah. Speak of the devil. What is Thor doing here? Loki had thought that his brother would still be at Midgard, uniting with her special lady-friend.

"I came to apologize."

Well that was new. Thor usually never apologized on anything he said or did. 

"Thor. After all this time and now you come to visit me. Why? Have you come to gloat? To mock? Apology is not usually your way of action, so why don't you tell me what this is really about", Loki hissed. He would **not** give Thor the satisfaction of seeing him weak.

"That is not my intention my dear brother. I have... learned a great deal about myself during my adventures with my Midgardian shield-mates. They have shown me the way of my errors, and I truly wish to acquit my wrongdoings against you, my dear brother" Thor declared, looking more serious than ever. Loki knew a lie when he saw one, and from the looks of it Thor wasn't lying. Or at least he _thought_ he wasn't lying, which was a different matter altogether.

"And how exactly were you going to _apologize_ to me, eh? If I recall correctly, the last time we saw each other you and your little friends locked me up for good. You think you can just waltz in here and tell me you're sorry? I don't think so. Now leave."

"Loki, please…" Thor pleaded, but to no avail. Loki had no intention whatsoever to listen what his brother had to say. Loki did not want to have his heart broken again by futile promises Thor would no doubt give him. Never again.

* * *

The next day Loki was released from his cell and brought back to his old quarters. Loki noted that despite his so-called freedom, there were still guards posted all over the place. On top of that he had been fitted with special bracelets that were blocking his magic. Thor had said he wanted to apologize, so why all the mistrust? Clearly Thor was trying to make him a fool, once again. Did he really think Loki was so dense he wouldn't see what Thor was planning? Then again, Thor and his precious friends had always underestimated him. All the better for Loki.

Thor came in late at night, asking for a chance to apologize. Loki chose not to listen. Words weren't meaningful to him, not when Thor's actions spoke against them. And Thor left again.

Night after night Thor came to him, but Loki wouldn't budge. Why should he? It was not going to end well. Planning his escape from Thor's clutches was more important than hearing out his lies. Soon, soon he was going to leave Asgard and Thor behind. Nothing was going to stop him, not even Heimdall and his all-seeing eye.

One night Thor didn't come to him. Loki kept telling himself he was not disappointed at all – Thor's absence only meant that he now had his chance to escape. Just because his magic was dulled it didn't mean he was helpless. There were certain herbs and concoctions that would help him if they were used correctly. Even a tiniest mistake could lead to his death.

Come the next morning, the guards found a seamlessly dead Loki lying on his bed. There was no official burial for Loki, no – the traitors of the crown did not deserve one. There was, however, some sort of mix-up, and Loki's body was misplaced somewhere. Not that anyone cared – it was only Loki.

* * *

Paro Taktsang is built in such a lovely place. Loki can see the monastery from his cave, but he has no interest in ever approaching the monks living there. He can manage on his own. It's cold, so cold, but Loki does not care. Coldness suits him. Sometimes, at nights, when Loki is confident no one can see him he lets the glamour masking him to fall away. The sight of his blue skin against the snow is always as startling. How could Thor ever love him when he looked so hideous?

Days and weeks go by, until one day it starts to thunder. Thunder always makes Loki suspicious, so he prepares for the worst and hopes for the best. He had thought he had been able to hide from Heimdall's all-seeing eye with his magic, but somehow his magic had failed him. 

The thunder goes on through the night, and there is no sign of Thor. Maybe it was just a regular thunder, then.

"Hello brother."

Or not. Loki curses under his breath and turns to face Thor. The blond looks as gorgeous as usual, and a small voice inside Loki's head thinks it must be because of the mortal woman. 

"I have come to apologize, my dear brother."

Loki starts laughing, first quietly and then so loud the whole valley is echoing with the sound of his laughter. Who does Thor think he is? 

"I don't think you truly understand the meaning of _apology_ , Thor. Last time you said you wanted to apologize, I was only moved from one prison to another and stripped away my greatest gift. So how are you going to apologize now, hmm? Are you going to throw me off the cliff? Hit me with Mjolnir? Ask help from your new friends? Tell me Thor, because I'm really interested to know what you have in mind" Loki taunts Thor, looking for a reaction.

"That was not of my choosing, but Allfather's. He did not want to believe me when I told him I still have faith in you, Loki."

"Ah, of course. How convenient of you to blame Allfather on everything. Now go away."

Thor opens his mouth as if to say something, but there is no sound coming out. Loki turns his back to Thor and is about to leave on a food hunting trip when suddenly Thor grabs him from behind, turning Loki to face him and kisses him rigorously. Loki is left speechless, but not for long. He pushes Thor away, away from him, feeling all confused.

"I think have have mistaken me for your fair lady. I'm no Jane Foster, nor I intend to be her. Go away and leave me alone" Loki whispers, wishing for Thor to leave him. He does not want Thor to break his heart again.

"I was utmostly mistaken with my affections to Jane. In the end I realised she was not the one I wanted to spend my time with, nor give my heart to. It has always been you, all along, and I was a fool for not realising it sooner. I have treated you badly, and I do not presume you will ever forgive me. All I ask for is for a chance to redeem myself" Thor pleaded.

_"Thorlovesme thorlovesme thorlovesme thorlovesme…"_ Loki does not know how to feel or think with this sudden revelation. Thor… does not love Jane Foster? Thor… loves him instead? But… how is that possible? What if Thor is lying to him, and this is just a crazy trick so that Thor can laugh into his face and mock him? But… Loki can sense that Thor is in earnest, and does not lie to him.

"Why me?" Loki blurts, forgetting all his cunningness and eloquence. He needs answers, and he needs them now.

"Because you are beautiful, inside and out, even though you do not feel that way about yourself", Thor simply says and takes Loki's hand. "Come home with me?"

Loki nods, willing to take the chance. Maybe he won't have Thor forever, but a little moment together is better than nothing at all.


End file.
